Assalamualaikum, hey everyone. I can see myself stuck in the same point at the same position without having any option in coordination. I drowning too deep inside my own confusion and illusion. It's not that I've been dishonest. I just prepared for something that I couldn't imagine, too far indeed. The moment I try to realize my fault, and when someone try to put huge question mark on my head, I know I'm not the one who able to untangled everything since the first time I've make it seen harsh and complicated. Is it wrong for me to built my own self-defense where I try to make everything sound beautiful as usual, when I try to convey myself that you not the one who put the burden on me, when I try to make myself understand that I'm the one who dragged you into this hell. Even though I know that it just still the same, it's just enough for me to cure my feeling. Please don't step back. I don't need you. Please let me have my own time to think what I've done to you. It's not for us, but it's for me, just for me.